Many of us are indulging in that twice a year guilty pleasure, Love Island right now it’s all stars where you don’t quite remember everybody but a week of watching and you know the cast better than own next door neighbour.
We start off saying do you remember them? Do you know them, and then trying to place who is who in the reality cast of characters. The EBay ads are like an old pair of slippers, where old clothes are like the island and they’ve just got voted off, or the red “I know where you are going” dress we all repeat word perfect.
Yes I do feel like I am stepping onto a fairground ride I’ve ridden so many times before but just cannot stop joining the queue to ride again. I don’t buy the merchandise or watch the after show or outtakes I am proud to say but that 9.00pm slot is more addictive than cigarettes we’ve vowed to quit in Jan 2026.
One VT worth mentioning for anyone who didn’t realise, the funny clip about the ICK being like a disease that infiltrates the body and just won’t leave is Olivia Atwood before all the surgery. Yep we didn’t recognise her either. It does show what these kids are doing and how they are completely modifying themselves into people we can’t even recognise for fame and fortune.
So the cast members we remembered in our house include, Helena, after the humiliation of the Harry and Shakira love triangle last year she’s back, we were hoping for 2.0 Helena new and improved with more genuine self worth but sadly it’s the same 1.1 Virgin Atlantic version. Adorable but still boyfriend less allowing horrible Shaq to play the field whilst keeping her dangling. Head Girl Millie modelled girl power to the power N when she booted out LOVE RAT Charlie for playing her and her girl Jess for fools but she’s entering hot water when she suggested HEAD BOY Scott was in her sights, currently happily coupled up with Leanne, who is completely unaware her first date picnic and meeting the family talks is potentially about to be shattered as Scott is revealed to be not all he seems.
We don’t like Whitney, who’s got Jack and Connor on the go, well actually now just Connor as Jack, son of pop musician and Notting Hill song “you say it best when you say nothing at all” artist Roman Keating. It’s not personal she just says “Charge It” too much with a resting bitch face, whatever that means.
Sammy and Kieran seem to be settling into each other, they don’t get that much air time so even though we did remember the faces we don’t have any background, we don’t know why, pretty people but still a little vanilla.
Sean, The Candy man and Tommy are the mamma’s boys back for another go on their bikes around the block. Sean started out with Belle and then Helena but both have got the ICK already so he’s waiting for a bombshell, and Tommy who began sliding into the DMs of Jess before the show, binned her off for kissing Charlie and now is angling for some one on one time with Lucinda.
Lucinda Stratford joined the cast on Friday entering the villa with ballroom dancer Curtis Pritchard who ended up finishing fourth with Maura Higgins in 2019 and then came third with Ekin Su in all stars 2025. When you break it all down and remember Ekin Su won the show with Davide in 2022 you can see this is actually now a soap format more for entertainment purposes and celebrity and print media career building than actually coupling up real people.
The cast continue to make fools of themselves amongst a network of people they have all met and know (for our guilty pleasure) producers get to play with their emotions (for our guilty pleasure) and ITV gets to make a whole load of cash.
Every year I say I am not watching again and yet again in January when the nights are long and cold the lure of this cringe fest is irresistible.
Last season introduced us to two of my favourite Love Island personalities ever, winner from Boca Raton Florida Toni and Yas GTP as she came to be known the girl with the perfect posture.
The show illusion could be shattered once and for all if either return as all stars to show format. I think once you’ve made an impression for all the right reasons there would be just no going back.
Fortunately Love Island All Stars 2026 50% of the cast we have no recollection of ever meeting before in my friendship group, I think why I am back in with full force this year. It would be good to see some of the cast members actually mature for real and show us how strong relationships can be founded on camera but hey producers would probably hate that.
And why Curtis is actually a love island producers dream. The minute the likes of Curtis Pritchard are back in the frame, doing his quick Salsa moves on Jess within minutes of entering the villa (giving everyone the ICK) we know when it comes to Love Island it’s going to be more car crash TV.
There again maybe that’s the reality we all actually tune in for. Check out Love Island history as Millie dumps her own partner Charlie. First time ever in the series history.